As the second year of university is coming to it’s end, and I still have few more assignments to do (something I should be working on instead of writing this), I’m feeling blue. I’ve realised how fast time flies; It’s been almost three years since I moved to London and oh-my what a rollercoaster has it been.
I still don’t know what I want to do when I graduate, and I don’t know where I want to go. People always ask me “Do you want to stay in London?”. At the moment I have mixed feelings about it. While I think that London has become my second home, I still need to go somewhere else.
Coming to the UK was kind of like an easy step for me, distance wise. But I’ve never really woken up to realise that this is where my life is right now. It feels unrealistic. That I’m living and studying in a city, where I dreamt to move since I first visited it in 2009.
Before I finished high school I remember having a fight with my mum, about me moving to London to study fashion. My mum obviously didn’t want me to move far from home, and even to this day she always asks me if I want to come back to Finland to finish my degree, or at least do my MA. And honestly, sometimes I wish I was in Finland. Life would be so much easier. Especially now, when I haven’t been home since last September and seen my family except through FaceTime. I feel really homesick and I think that is stressing me out.
But do I want my life to be easy? No. Living abroad and experiencing both good and bad during these three years, has only made me stronger. I’ve met amazing people, with who I will be friends forever. I’ve become really confident, something I wasn’t when I was living at home. And I am now fully independent, something I know not all my friends back home are.
Yes, time flies and I will soon be graduating. But I’ll be fine, I’m sure. It’s okay to not know where you will be in the next one, two or five years. It’s okay to not plan it all out. Something I haven’t done since I graduated from high school. I never thought I was going to settle here, but it happened and I can’t complain. SO many things wouldn’t happen if I didn’t board that plane nearly three years ago.
Gosh, I think I just need a holiday. This year has been too long.
Photos from last summer in Tenerife.